Promoting yourself professionally can be a tricky business. Here’s how to network without selling your soul or self-sabotaging.

 

 

What is networking?

 

The OED defines networking as ‘the action or process of interacting with others to exchange information and develop professional or social contacts’.

Perhaps the key word here is ‘exchange’.

It’s all too easy to see professional networking as an exercise in self-interest. This ‘me me me’ approach can both pile on the pressure and cause you to morph into an inauthentic caricature.

 

 

CAN I NOT JUST SKIP IT?

 

Love it or loathe it, professional networking is an important aspect of your professional success. Effective networking helps you to build a presence within your sector which could lead to career development opportunities and mutually beneficial links with other professionals: you never know it could lead to a dream job or at least a job opportunity.

Discussing common interests, new ideas and finding shared ground can help you feel like you’re part of a dynamic wider community. However, it’s not uncommon to feel uncomfortable about the prospect of socialising unnaturally with virtual strangers out in the business world.

Moreover, with social networking online infringing ever more into our daily lives, it’s possible to feel overwhelmed by the expectation to present yourself as successful and communicative 24/7.

 

I’ll JUST FOCUS ON MY ACTUAL JOB, THANKS

 

That may be an admirable intention, but unfortunately, expectations for professional networking aren’t self-generated.

Increasingly, Executives report that their value is less about their day-to-day impact, but in building relationships they develop through networking with clients and colleagues.

For some of us, that’s fine. But for others, invitations to networking events are an unwelcome obligation – and in some cases, a source of real anxiety. Perhaps the first step to success is identifying your mindset towards networking as a concept.

 

ARE YOU A PROMOTER OR A PREVENTER?

 

A recent study by Gino, Kouchaki and Casciaro in Harvard Business Review found that people’s mindsets in relation to networking could be broadly categorised into two camps: promotion vs prevention.

‘Promotion-focused people networked because they wanted to and approached the activity with excitement, curiosity, and an open mind about all the possibilities that might unfold. Prevention-focused people saw networking as a necessary evil and felt inauthentic while engaged in it, so they did it less often and, as a result, underperformed in aspects of their jobs.’

Having an awareness of both of these mindsets can be beneficial if you’re pondering whether or not to accept an invite to those networking opportunities.

Aiming for a middle-ground, with enough EQ to keep a check on your authenticity, whilst still exhibiting enthusiasm in your interactions, could result in a third, more balanced, category…

 

 

COULD YOU BE A PRAGMATIST?

 

The Pragmatic networker keeps it real. The Pragmatic networker gets involved, but doesn’t sweat the small stuff. Above all, the Pragmatic networker attempts to tread a comfortable path between the extremes of wallflower and ego-maniac, whilst retaining a sense of perspective. Networking alone isn’t going to make or break your career, but it can be a useful skill to master.

Basically, don’t hate the player – hate the game. And whether you’re playing the game in-person or online, here’s some suggestions gathered from personal experience of attending and hosting networking events.

 

DO SOME RESEARCH

 

Spending a bit of time and effort doing due diligence into an networking event can be beneficial. There’s nothing worse than turning up blind to a room full of people and feeling immediately out of place and on the back foot.

A Pragmatic networker might be able to scope out a few points of contact in advance, find some common ground and take some time to recall previous conversations.

It’s not fake to remember that X’s son was applying for a football scholarship to study in America, or Y’s company was developing their office space: it’s just giving you a chance to go in with your mind open and fully charged for making connections.

 

 

DON’T JUST TALK

 

It’s a common, natural reaction to want to fill awkward silences at networking events with words, even if you have nothing specific to say. If in doubt, ask a question and listen to the response. You don’t need to be the one talking to establish a presence in a room.

Blair West clients and candidates frequently give informal feedback that networking interactions would be vastly improved if people listened a bit more and spoke a bit less.

A pet peeve from personal experience is the underrated value in genuinely listening and reacting to someone else’s anecdote, rather than using the time to come up with your own similar, but superior story. No one likes an ‘Eleven-erife’* after all, whether that’s in work time or down time.

 

GAN CANNY*

 

Getting stuck in to the free bar can seem like a great idea at 7pm on a Thursday night when you’re walking into a room full of strangers. Who doesn’t want to loosen up their social awkwardness? You might think you’re better at networking when slightly intoxicated and it gives you a perfect excuse to move on from the person you’re talking to if you finish your drink and head back to the bar.

However, we all know how it feels when you wake up in the morning with a pounding head, recalling snippets of conversation you had the night before. Getting flashbacks of that time you were mortal** in front of X, the CEO of XYZ, is enough to make anyone avoid all future networking opportunities and invest in a good quality paper bag.

Maybe just take the car and bow out gracefully.

 

 

BE REAL

 

The phrase ‘fake it ’til you make it’ gets bandied around in popular culture. And there is undeniably a nugget of truth in this attitude. If you don’t rate yourself, how can you expect anyone else to take you seriously? However, putting a positive (inaccurate) spin on all your professional achievements is a sure-fire way to stand out in a crowd for all the wrong reasons when networking.

Aside from your success in a professional context, being authentic is ultimately going to generate genuine connections with others. The last thing you want in any social situation is to come across as either egotistical or insensitive or both.

Read the room. If you’re talking to Ms Uber High-Level Success Story there’s nothing wrong with matching their positivity with a genuine bit of your own good fortune. On the other hand, if you’re talking to a contemporary who’s going through some career turbulence, perhaps now’s not the time to be bigging yourself up.

We all have ups and downs in our career path, and those who only ever put a hyper-positive spin on their bumps in the road don’t come across as very real.

 

DON’T LOOK TO UPGRADE

 

Picture the scene. You’re in a conversation at a professional networking event, but the person you’re speaking to is keeping a constant watch over your shoulder in case they get a better option. This may have happened to you in the past. You may even have been the one scanning the room in anxious anticipation of making the most of the opportunities available.

The scenario above might sound like hyperbole, but in a recent survey of networking ‘icks’, the number-one complaint amongst professionals was that interactions were most fake and disingenuous when it was clear that you would be cast aside if a better offer came along.

Regardless of the nature of the networking event or the status of the attendees, it’s never wise to disregard basic standards of respect and politeness. Arguably, people remember discourtesy much more than they remember any other form of interaction. Karma works in mysterious ways, so it’s always worth minding your manners.

 

BAD PUBLICITY IS A THING

 

Whether you’re at a networking drinks reception or ruminating on a LinkedIn post, it’s not always a positive outcome to simply get a lot of attention. The quality as well as quantity of your interactions is important – and you can’t always do a recovery job afterwards.

Maybe hold that political observation or rage-fuelled rant.

Perhaps give it five minutes and see if its still seems sensible.

Whilst it’s true that getting involved in a debate can be valuable and engaging, keeping your personal brand professional is imperative in terms of being taken seriously. Identifying shared interests and keeping conversation light can be just as powerful as making a splash with a controversial opinion.

In the words of a wise man, Elvis Presley, (apparently inspired by being a fly-0n-the-wall at a North East Business Wine and Cheese event): ‘Only fools rush in’.

 

 

FIGHT YOUR FOMO

 

If in doubt, don’t just say yes. Playing the odds and attending everything might make sense, mathematically speaking, but it’s not always in your best interests.

Once you start getting the knack of networking, whether online or in person, it’s easy to feel like you need to be saying yes to every invite. Before you know it, you’re out three nights a week at some function or other and your previous commitments to friends, family and fitness have gone out the window.

Take a breath and keep evaluating what the Pragmatist would do. Yes, getting your face out there is valuable – especially if you no longer get The Fear when you walk into a networking event. But, more important is developing a positive work/life balance so that you can be on genuinely good form for the networking events you do attend.

 

 

OVER AND OUT

 

It’s over! Thank goodness for that. It might be tempting to dash out the door and switch work-mode off, but following up after an event can be really valuable. Sending a quick thank you email to the organisers, or following up your chat with X a few days later to ask how the conference went can do a lot to develop more meaningful professional links.

As a search and recruitment firm, Blair West have the privilege of organising and hosting regular networking events in the North East and across the country. You may be surprised how rare and appreciated it is to receive a personal follow-up after an event. You may not be surprised to join the dots and conclude that these small interactions help these individuals stand out for all the right reasons.

And after all, isn’t that what networking is all about? An exchange – of conversation, of information, of contacts, of opportunities. Exchange is a two-way street and you’re only going to get the most out of it if you engage with those coming in the opposite direction.

Pragmatically speaking, networking is a skill like any other and everyone is capable of developing what they put into networking as well as what they get out of it.

 

 

Blair West Glossary

 

* Slow down and go carefully

** The type of person who has to one-up every story they hear. If you’ve just been to Tenerife they’re itching to tell you about their recent, superior getaway

*** A state of considerable intoxication

Blair West is a successful, independent search and recruitment firm based in Newcastle Upon Tyne. We support high-growth businesses, UK-wide, as they build high calibre senior teams across all business structures.

We are proud of our Geordie roots and strive to bring our North East values to our national practice. We listen and immerse ourselves in the small details of clients we work with to find the right candidate for the right role, whether on an executive or non-executive basis.

Blair West can help you develop your network – please get in touch with us for more information or if this blog has generated questions or feedback.